I Am Still Young.. err.. Am I?
I admit, being 30 doesn't really justify me for writing such a topic. But seriously, I feel old. I am not really old, but I feel so. Maybe it's got to do with the fact that I've been married for 5 years and got a kid.. Maybe it's seeing and hearing sad stories happening all around me all the time.. I don't really know.
When Pst Robb Thompson came to church the last time, he made a remark which I thought made a lot of sense. Of course, all of the things he said made sense, but this one just bing bong bang on my head. He said, as we grow older each day, the days ahead of us become lesser than those behind us. When we were young, we would think that we have a long future ahead of us and there is still so much time to do the things we want to do. But as we get older, we will realise that we have already lived a large portion of our lives, and what's ahead of us becomes preciously little. What a solemn thought.
I think I'm a sadist at times. When I hear of stories of how parents lost their kids at young age, I would imagine what I would do if it happened to me. When I hear of people who lost their spouses to some terminal illness, I would imagine how I would react if it were me. No, I definitely don't want those things to happen to me (touch wood!!), but wouldn't you have those thoughts too? I mean, I saw some people cope with their pain and sadness, and I wondered how I would ever be able to have that kind of courage. I seriously doubt I will be strong enough. That's why I made Isaiah promise not to die before me. I can't handle that kind of thing. I'd rather be the one to go first and be missed. Haha..
But I guess I shouldn't sound so pessimistic. Death happens to us all. Instead of feeling sad about this fact of life, I ought to look on the brighter side. I ought to learn to treasure everything in my life a little more. I ought to love my husband more. I ought to spend time with my kid more. I ought to visit my parents more. I ought to tell my loved ones I love them more. So many 'I-ought-to's...
And yeh, I do feel old. No, not in a bad way. But in a motivated way. (Do I sound confused?)
I feel that much time has gone by in my life and there are still so much more I want to accomplish. There're still things I wanna do, words I wanna say, songs I wanna write, hugs I wanna give... And I don't want to waste time anymore. No more procrastination! Do it today and NOW!
You who are younger than me, don't think you will be young for much longer.. Haha.. Let's get the best and most out of our lives, shall we? ><
This is a little too heavy for a morning blog post huh? :)
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