Commitment flows out of a willing heart...

Confessions Of A Nail-Biter

At some random Nail-biter Anonymous meeting

Me: Hi Everyone, I’m a nail-biter.

Everyone: Hi.

Me: I’ve been biting my nails for the last 30 years. Oh maybe 29 years, cos’ I grew enough teeth to bite only when I reach one year old. Opps, did I just reveal my age?

Everyone: Ohhhhh……. (with empathetic looks)

Me: I’ve tried countless times to quit before, but I always end up going back to the habit again. It seems that I can never get rid of the bondage. I feel like a loser.

Man A: I can imagine how miserable it must be.

Woman B: I understand how you feel.

Man B: We are here for you.

* * * * * *

I confess: I have been a nail-biter all my life.

Nope, not my nails. But you get the drift.

Throughout my life, I’ve had millions of people (believe me, I’ve been keeping track) come to me to tell me to STOP BITING MY NAILS for goodness’ sake. But as with all addictions, it’s tough, and I have no perseverance.

My mum told me countless times to stop biting. Even my dad said that before. Yes, that coming from a man of few words must mean something. But I couldn’t kick the habit. No motivation. Period.

The only other important person is my life who told me to kick the habit was my then-boyfriend-now-husband. He didn’t really harp on it and actually made it sound like if I could kick the habit, it would be a bonus but if I didn’t, he loved me as I was. I did make several attempts throughout that 10 years because of what he said. I tried putting chili on my nails (which obviously didn’t work since I love chili so much. It just made me want to bite my nails even more). I tried putting Sally Hanson’s Stop-Biting nail polish on my nails, which were bitter by the way and tasted really awful whenever I stuck my fingers into my mouth accidentally, so I ended up washing my hands 10 times every hour just to get rid of them. Well, let’s just say for the entire 10 years of our courtship, he lived with those set of imperfect nails.

During my prime youth days when most girls of my age were going crazy over manicures and pedicures, I could never be a part of those girly conversations. As a matter of fact, I hated it whenever the girls gathered and pored over each other’s fingernails and the lovely nail-arts. So bimbotic, I thought. That too wasn’t motivation enough for me to stop biting my nails.

The first time I managed to actually stop biting my nails long enough to let it grow long was for my wedding. It’s the single most important thing in anyone’s life, so of course that was reason enough for me to do it. I definitely wouldn’t want the most important man in my life to lift my finger to fit the wedding band only to see the ugly fingernails and then wished silently he didn’t make the wrong decision.

I cannot even begin to describe how excited I was when I stepped into a nail parlor for the very first time in my life. And there was the feeling of unbelievable ecstasy when I saw my 10 fingernails decked out in perfect French manicure. Believe me, I had tears in my eyes.

The almost-perfect nails remained in that state for only one month. Oh wait, i think they were gone by the time we were back from our honeymoon. We were in Australia for only 11 days. The biting started all over again.

The second time I managed to stop biting was because I had no choice but to do it. I had just given birth to Joey via C-section and a gentle cough was enough to cause my stitches to hurt like crazy. So the only logical thing I could do not to induce coughs was to stop biting my nails because the nails could cause my throat to be itchy. But obviously, when my wound healed, I was back to biting my nails barely one month later.

This time round, when I knew I was going for another C-section, I told myself that I had to kick the habit of nail-biting!

I psycho-ed myself by googling pretty photos of well-manicured nails and went as far as standing suspiciously outside nail parlors, telling myself that I could be one of those lovely ladies inside the parlors enjoying the pampering that every woman should get.

I am proud to say that 3 months on, I am still free from nail-biting!!!! And I’m going to confess positively that it’s going to stay that way! Yiipppeeeeee!!!

Manicure is going to be a monthly affair for me now. :)