When Trying My Best Is Not Good Enough
Do you know that feeling? Of trying very hard and still not good enough?
It's a terrible feeling mixed with disappointment, frustration, desperation and despair. More than not being able to meet the expectations on us, it's a painful realisation that even our best has not hit the bar yet. It's an alarm that keeps ringing in our head that we are lousy.
There comes a point when we will feel like giving up, because everything feels futile no matter how hard we try. "What's the point?" Despair sets in.
I hate that feeling. I hate the feeling of not being in control of my situation. Nothing freaks me out more than knowing that I can't do anything about it no matter how hard I try.
I am somewhat a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. And I need to know that what I've put in yields me the results that I want. When this 'not-good-enough' thing hit me, I spiral into a dark pit of anguish, self-pity and frustration. I hate to see the look of disappointment in the eyes of people around me.
I don't want to be not-good-enough!
I don't want to be lousy!
I don't want! I don't want!
At several points in my life, I've come to this point of frustration. Those negative feelings, I can all understand. Giving up feels like the only logical solution because only so, will we stop the disappointments and frustrations from hitting us again and again.
But whenever I feel like giving up trying, God always intervenes. I'll be wallowing in self pity and God will speak into my ear in a tiny voice. Keep trying your best and I will honor your perseverance even if no one does.
Isn't it amazing how God only needs to speak one word and every cloud seem to clear from our heads? My God is not a God who gives up. My God believes in trying and trying again. My God knows that at the end of it all, I will become a better person. He has His plans in everything, it seems. Amazing.
And so, I pressed on and continued to do my best. Somehow, the breakthrough will come sooner or later. I don't know how, but it just does. God will somehow work in the situation and in the hearts of the people involved. Favour will come and the barrier will be broken. I will start to know instinctively what to do and how to do it well. Now, I try my best each time not just to barely meet the requirements, but to outdo myself and to be even more outstanding. I love to excel in the things I do! This feeling is far greater than the feeling of defeat!
And so, whenever I get stuck in such situations now, I remember how God brought me through and what He has spoken to me. And I can overcome it.
Who says God is not real? He is very real in my life. :)
Do you know that feeling? Of trying very hard and still not good enough?
It's a terrible feeling mixed with disappointment, frustration, desperation and despair. More than not being able to meet the expectations on us, it's a painful realisation that even our best has not hit the bar yet. It's an alarm that keeps ringing in our head that we are lousy.
There comes a point when we will feel like giving up, because everything feels futile no matter how hard we try. "What's the point?" Despair sets in.
I hate that feeling. I hate the feeling of not being in control of my situation. Nothing freaks me out more than knowing that I can't do anything about it no matter how hard I try.
I am somewhat a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. And I need to know that what I've put in yields me the results that I want. When this 'not-good-enough' thing hit me, I spiral into a dark pit of anguish, self-pity and frustration. I hate to see the look of disappointment in the eyes of people around me.
I don't want to be not-good-enough!
I don't want to be lousy!
I don't want! I don't want!
At several points in my life, I've come to this point of frustration. Those negative feelings, I can all understand. Giving up feels like the only logical solution because only so, will we stop the disappointments and frustrations from hitting us again and again.
But whenever I feel like giving up trying, God always intervenes. I'll be wallowing in self pity and God will speak into my ear in a tiny voice. Keep trying your best and I will honor your perseverance even if no one does.
Isn't it amazing how God only needs to speak one word and every cloud seem to clear from our heads? My God is not a God who gives up. My God believes in trying and trying again. My God knows that at the end of it all, I will become a better person. He has His plans in everything, it seems. Amazing.
And so, I pressed on and continued to do my best. Somehow, the breakthrough will come sooner or later. I don't know how, but it just does. God will somehow work in the situation and in the hearts of the people involved. Favour will come and the barrier will be broken. I will start to know instinctively what to do and how to do it well. Now, I try my best each time not just to barely meet the requirements, but to outdo myself and to be even more outstanding. I love to excel in the things I do! This feeling is far greater than the feeling of defeat!
And so, whenever I get stuck in such situations now, I remember how God brought me through and what He has spoken to me. And I can overcome it.
Who says God is not real? He is very real in my life. :)
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