Mix Discipline With Love
Balance is always the key.
Simple truth that we all know, but it's not always that simple when we try to apply it in life. Striking a correct balance that will result in a win-win situation is easier said than done.
People who know my kid knows that she's one active kid who's on the move all the time. That means I am always being placed in a position where I have to discipline her and tell her what she shouldn't be doing. Things like playing with the wires, a hot bowl of soup or even a sharp object is potentially dangerous and I have to reprimand her very harshly if I want her to know I mean real business. Yet, I have to remind myself to mix that with lots of love so that she knows that I still love her. It's no easy feat to strike that balance, trust me. Especially when I am boiling with anger at what she had just done!
And so, while it is important to discipline when the need calls for it, if love is not mixed well into it, it can result in the reverse effect sometimes. It can crash someone instead of edifying him. It can push the person deeper into the trench than rescue him from the pool of bitterness & anger. A leader is one who can command respect even when he is scolding or reprimanding. A leader is one whose voice carry weight, even when there is no shouting or screaming. A leader is one who can bring about a change in mindset & actions with the appropriate amount of discipline and love. A leader makes someone better and not bitter.
A leader will never hesitate to discipline when the need arises because he does it out of love for that person. If he keeps silent out of fear or to keep himself at peace with the people around him, there is no conviction and this disqualifies him from being a good leader. Yet, when discipline is done well, it not only brings the two persons closer together, it also makes both parties better people.
Of course, the one receiving the discipline plays a part too. If he is not receptive, or refuses to listen, there is nothing the leader can do. It takes both hands to clap. Still, whenever I think about this, I always come to the same conclusion. The onus still lies more heavily on the leader. He has to earn that respect so that whenever he disciplines, the other party receives it wholeheartedly. This is however, very difficult and almost always, time consuming.
I saw how my pastors counselled people and I told myself that yes, I want to bring out the best in people and I will not hesitate to tell them when they did wrong. Yet, I want to shower them with lots of love and understanding as well, cos only love can win them over. God is love and even when God disciplines, there is always a great amount of love given as well. And that is really the cornerstone characteristic of a shepherd. Love, love and love somemore.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Balance is always the key.
Simple truth that we all know, but it's not always that simple when we try to apply it in life. Striking a correct balance that will result in a win-win situation is easier said than done.
People who know my kid knows that she's one active kid who's on the move all the time. That means I am always being placed in a position where I have to discipline her and tell her what she shouldn't be doing. Things like playing with the wires, a hot bowl of soup or even a sharp object is potentially dangerous and I have to reprimand her very harshly if I want her to know I mean real business. Yet, I have to remind myself to mix that with lots of love so that she knows that I still love her. It's no easy feat to strike that balance, trust me. Especially when I am boiling with anger at what she had just done!
And so, while it is important to discipline when the need calls for it, if love is not mixed well into it, it can result in the reverse effect sometimes. It can crash someone instead of edifying him. It can push the person deeper into the trench than rescue him from the pool of bitterness & anger. A leader is one who can command respect even when he is scolding or reprimanding. A leader is one whose voice carry weight, even when there is no shouting or screaming. A leader is one who can bring about a change in mindset & actions with the appropriate amount of discipline and love. A leader makes someone better and not bitter.
A leader will never hesitate to discipline when the need arises because he does it out of love for that person. If he keeps silent out of fear or to keep himself at peace with the people around him, there is no conviction and this disqualifies him from being a good leader. Yet, when discipline is done well, it not only brings the two persons closer together, it also makes both parties better people.
Of course, the one receiving the discipline plays a part too. If he is not receptive, or refuses to listen, there is nothing the leader can do. It takes both hands to clap. Still, whenever I think about this, I always come to the same conclusion. The onus still lies more heavily on the leader. He has to earn that respect so that whenever he disciplines, the other party receives it wholeheartedly. This is however, very difficult and almost always, time consuming.
I saw how my pastors counselled people and I told myself that yes, I want to bring out the best in people and I will not hesitate to tell them when they did wrong. Yet, I want to shower them with lots of love and understanding as well, cos only love can win them over. God is love and even when God disciplines, there is always a great amount of love given as well. And that is really the cornerstone characteristic of a shepherd. Love, love and love somemore.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
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